Showing posts with label reflections. Show all posts

Too Personal: Is This Pride?

You be the judge because I haven’t thought of this word that describes me.

A woman told me today that I have a high pride. Oh, is it? I’ve forgotten about the past pains, hurt and all the bad goodies in the world in which I pushed in one bag and throw it out of my life. It’s all about forgetting and starting a new life ahead.

Until a call came, it was a call from a woman... Old wounds revived and tried to wiggle its way up again.

I was outcast from my brother’s house. Both my father and brother are angry with me. I don’t know where my brother’s anger came from against me. He was very angry that he wants to throw a punch on me but pull it. Also, my father was angry against me because of the other woman. I defend my mother who is bedridden against my father. I defend that illiterate teen that doesn’t finish elementary education against my father. I understand her illiteracy and teach her in a way that she understands. But father was perfectionist! I tried to explain and reach my brother’s understanding. But some of the words I uttered were reiterated against me. I keep my mouth shut because I know; I can do nothing to change it. It is my youngest brother’s word against mine.

If he hears those hearsays, let that person come forward and let’s talk, like a tête-à-tête. We are civilized and educated; we’re not a child anymore. But, no foot came forward. It was like everyone was angry and I am a black dog. It chocked me. I decided to go back to Manila even if it was a gamble. I doubt if I can work again.

To make it short, I didn’t find a job while staying in one of the boarding house in Pasay. I feel desperate and very depressed until I decided to move out of that place. It was an accessible place in looking for work. But it is also making a big hole in my pocket; drained my savings.

Moving out was the biggest decision I made. Acceptance is a value that I learned; I can not have a company job anymore. Aside from my age (out of the calendar), my English is not perfect for an international call center company. Sometimes, I stammered and I have difficulty pronouncing the TH and F sounds.

The pain is gone but the scars are left. The painful situations had taught me a lesson. My mind is at peace. I had forgotten all about it until that call. A woman’s call telling me what had happened with my brother’s life and father’s vices. I told her, I can’t do anything about it. My brother has money; he has the power against me who has nothing. All I can do is pray and offer it to Him. She ended the call by asking me to warn my father against those vices. She added something that distressed me, again. Sorry, I can not tell you what it was. If it's true, he's the son and I believe in Karma. Whatever father had done, he was still the father and old now. If it is not, God I know you hear it! Sadly, I can not do anything about it.

Am I too proud? Is it pride?

Father's Day

As I made my walked around the Blogosphere, I always read about Father’s day.

I would like to share this to you because I know it is not only me who has encountered this kind of life’s happenings.

Father had done mistakes with our family. It involves another woman – another mistress! Eventually, our feelings towards him have changed especially me. I will come near his path and would turn away from him. Feeling is gone of a daughter towards his father.

Of course, mother had done everything to win him back; to make him stay back in the house. We do not know the real reason. Is it my mother’s love towards our father? Or is it because of us his grown-up children.
But then, it was changed! He had a heart attack and high blood pressure! We are only two siblings! I am the only one living here in the Philippines while the other is out of the country. It happened for a reason, I think. I came back as his daughter and watched him in the hospital.

Father's Day Comments from God has its own way! Whatever had happened, we can not change it! The blood that's within us! Bygones be bygones!

He will always be our DADDY, my PAPA!

The Artist In Me

I love to cut even if I can’t do it straight! Yes, I can not cut it straight. Sometimes, I asked someone else to do it for me or I have to do it with a grunt. I have few materials for a scrapbook but it’s always set aside and kept in a box. 

I miss the time when I've worked in an Internet Cafe wherein we accept graduation pamphlets, school certificates, wedding invitations and any cards. I do all the design with the use of  Print Artist (clip art) and Microsoft Word only for the encoding and word art.

Someone told me to self-study Photoshop online but I find it hard to understand. I am slow to learn new things. That is why I prefer to hear it first from a teacher who will guide me the basics then I will do it online for further information. That is how my slow pace goes.

A nurse asked me to help her with the encoding and signage's/slogan: It was like my ears are flapping with excitement! I feel happy and glad she asked me! I browse the net for photos and change the font style of the old one. Of course, the statement is the same but it will be different when it comes to design. It is done in black and white because we have an ink problem with Mr. Printer.

I forgot the term, but I add the "look-like-a-stick-man" for fun
sitting in the "not" word. It catches the eye and will make them laugh

 That's in Filipino language. It says, "What I need is the THE MILK 
FROM MOMMY to stay Healthy, Smart and Alert."

What do you think mommies and babies? Do you agree?

Adgitize: Traffic Rating & Adgi-score

 Yeheyyy!! Do you mind if I jump up and down? Oh the earth won’t shake with my jumping! Don’t worry about that. I was very happy to see traffic rating & adgi-score after a day! Take a look! Only for A DAY!

I’ve been checking my traffic rating and adgi-score in Adgitize website! The result is N/A and they can’t find the blog. The reason I know is that I did not visit 100 websites a day! A friend Marose a.k.a. Red checked my site and told me there’s she did not see an adgitize banner! I wonder how come she didn’t see it. I had one banner in my personal blog, though! I notice in other blogs there’s the word “Adgitize Me” with two columns of different badges. Now, I know! Oh my wrong thought beats me! I thought that those 2 columns with it six badges are only for those adgitzers who pays $14. I was wrong! After adding my blog, I did not click the GET CODE tab. So, I went back and hurriedly get code and add it in my page.

Fortunately, a website has a banner that says “Adgitizing Made Easy – 100 Points”. Without second thought, I click it divert me to Pehpot’s Make or Break with a post for Adgitizing Made Easy! They have created an adgitize tool to make it easier for us to click 100 sites a day! Visit them here.

All you have to do is copy the code and paste it (add html) in your blog’s lay-out.