
Mama died more than a year ago from cervical cancer. She fought it for more than a year. It makes me feel guilty especially when our neighbor told me that mother was crying. She had told them that, "I don't want to die because I want to take care of my children." My heart swells and I cried. My mother and I had a few battles especially when I grow up as a teenager. Those were the times that my parents were very protective. Yet, I want my freedom.
I remember at the age of 33, I was so annoyed about her arguments about my job. Then, I froze when she told me that, "Why are you angry? Don't you want to be taken care of?" Hey! I'm 33 ma. Let me be me and decide for them.
I had a little time with her because I am in Manila. It's only six months! During my stay, I was able to share my problems for a long time and experiences in Manila. For the first time, my mother listens.
I remember at the age of 33, I was so annoyed about her arguments about my job. Then, I froze when she told me that, "Why are you angry? Don't you want to be taken care of?" Hey! I'm 33 ma. Let me be me and decide for them.
I had a little time with her because I am in Manila. It's only six months! During my stay, I was able to share my problems for a long time and experiences in Manila. For the first time, my mother listens.

In reminiscing Mama...
She's a loving Duday for her closest niece and nephews. I do not know where that word "Duday" came from but to modernize it, they call her "Duds. Mostly her nieces seek her out especially when there is a party and food gathering in each place. Mama loves to cook and has her own taste with food. One thing they'll never forget is the food, they never get hungry when Mama is around. If she's one of the cook, she would call them and stuffed their hands with a plate full of food. Sometimes when life gets tough, if one of her niece called her up about a problem. She is their to defend them no matter what. No matter who had done wrong, you can call on her.
That is the same to us, her children. She is always there for us no matter who had done wrong. And I guess, that is how I become so spoiled. It was Mama who fought for my education in a private school. And luckily, I passed the exam for Grade I and a woman (whom I suspected as a Proctor) had helped me out with Math. Even if she's busy with the house chores, tired and her hands are dirty, she would fetch me from school every afternoon. She let me go alone in the mornings until I asked her to stopped fetching me. I want to be on my own. On second thought, It would help mother because she's tired.
I regret those times when I do not understand her. What she was trying to teach me. She loves me too much but I haven't returned it more than a 100%.
I love you Mama! I miss you so much!
I love you Mama! I miss you so much!