Again, this is a very late post and it happened last March 2012. It took me a long time to publish this post, perhaps it’s too personal to tell. But, I want to take the emptiness out from what had happened before and share it. I am happy that he came.

My son’s visitor is my one and only youngest brother Jun. Unknown to anyone, except my close relatives, that my brother and I haven’t speak for a long time. He’s working as a seaman abroad. Of course, he believe in anything that someone close to him says. We fought against finances, my mother who’s fighting for her dear life against cervical cancer, my father and chiasm. Every thing I said he’ll throw it back on me. He will not listen to me. It seems I’m carrying the whole world on my shoulders. I cried bucket of tears and decided to leave his home. And, when I got pregnant, I asked for his help but he was very angry. He almost flare up. I’m thankful because my cousins were there to stop him. He will arrived in the Philippines and left the country with no communication. Until, a neighbor from Iligan City tried to talked and put some sense into our minds. Then, my brother starts to comment whenever he sees my comments of a cousin’s photos. That’s where we start our communication again.

He came with his girlfriend and brought a Red Ribbon cake for my son, though. My son was afraid because he haven’t met his Uncle and this is their firsts. The way I look at it, my brother was happy carrying my son and told me that he missed his two children from his ex-wife. Also, he shared a conversation with my husband.

This is a late post! I made a promise to get back into blogging and update my blogs but there are situation that I can't handle both sides of the coin. 

My son's fever is up again and he's coughing. For some, it looks like an ordinary cough but when his fever reached more than 40degrees. Instantly, I drop anything I do online. There is no one important to me more than my son.

I brought him into the hospital at 2am. The attending nurse thought we are there for check up. Honestly, I feel dismayed because I am not illiterate bringing my son at dawn time. I want to flare up but keep my cool because I'm carrying my son. Then, she gave my son the usual TPR (Temperature, Pulse and Respiration rate). When they found out his fever is high, they have given him an ice bath. An ice bath is given to a child who's fever reaches 40°C to help lower down the fever.

When the resident doctor arrived, he just checked my son and read his previous health records. Then, he wrote medicines and give me instructions. After that, he stand up and attempt to walk out of the Emergency room. Whoa! That's it? I asked if isn't he going to recommend my son's confinement in the hospital. He replied, "Oh, you want to confine your son? Ok." Then, he turned to the 2 on-duty nurses to give my son an I-V. I was baffled because I act as if I know better than the medical staff. What's going on? Is it because they know that we can pay the hospital bills through monthly payment only? Is that the reason why there's laxity in their assistance? The truth is I feel my self-esteem is very low but I pretend to be strong.

After the I-V insertion, they showed us the hospitals' private room. I'm glad my son has a good sleep because the following days were not so good for him. He's blood count is monitored every day while his fever is every 4 hours. They keep on checking him for a possible dengue. After 3 days, they found out that it is not dengue. It's a viral infection, a regular measles and primary complex.

Knowing the results of his sickness, I feel guilty as a mother especially with the viral infection and primary complex. My son has contact from different customers everyday. We do not know the person that carries infection nor we can prevent it. The place where we live is inside an internet shop.