The Good and Bad Of Going through Your Partner's Phone

A home improvement app, Porch conducted a survey and found that 49.6% of male respondents and 67.3% of women respondents snooped through their partner’s smartphones. According to evolutionary psychology, both men and women experience jealousy in different ways and, thus, feel threatened due to different reasons. Men, in general, are more jealous of sexual infidelity and women are more jealous of emotional infidelity as it affects the long-term commitment of their partner.

So, whether you should snoop around your partner’s phone or not, it is something the two parties have to decide as a couple. There are some good things and some bad things that stem out of spying on your partner’s phone.

Let’s discuss The Good first:

  • Transparency is valuable in a relationship. Whether it is a commitment or a marriage, full transparency has its benefits. It lets the couples have a deeper emotional connection and intimacy. With transparency comes honesty, and this way, a couple can easily avoid things that can damage a relationship. 
  • When you know everything about each other, you can have conversations apart from the financial and logical matters, too.
  • This might come off as weird, but snooping (and not finding anything) brings an inner peace. It makes you calm and relaxed. The sole reason shouldn’t be to find something but the assurance that your partner does not hide anything from you.
  • Going through the personal conversations of your partner lets you know they wouldn’t do anything to hurt the relationship or you if they know that their digital behavior is randomly checked.
  • The possibility of an affair reduces greatly as checking your partner’s phone, keeps any kind of flirtatious behavior at bay. 
  • According to some, it is healthy to follow your intuition and checking your partner’s to identify red flags in the relationship. Ignoring the signs and signals and doing nothing about it can result in the death of your relationship.

If you find this approach agreeable, then give each other your PIN codes, passwords, and phone access. And maybe when you get into a relationship or get married, you could discuss this point  beforehand with your partner that there won’t be any privacy and going through each other’s phones are allowed. Letting the other person know how you want the relationship to be can save you a lot of sorrow and grief in the future.

The Bad:

The first thing that you need to keep in mind is realizing that if you suffered at the hands of a cheating partner in the past, you are more likely to be dubious of your current partner. What you need to remember is that no one should pay for what happened with you in the past. But in some cases, where one of the parties had trust issues, using a spying app has actually made things a lot better.

If there is someone who you really want to be in a relationship with suffers from serious trust issues, there is no harm in letting them use Xnspy monitoring app. By doing so, they can rebuild their trust and be sure of your loyalty. Here is how the app works. You let them install Xnspy on your phone and as a result, they can access your text messages, chats, emails, call logs, and where you are at as the app has a GPS tracking feature. They could do random spot checks to see your social media activity, etc. This way you let them in on your life so they can see that you are not two-timing them. Xnspy has become a popular spying app and lets you monitor everything from text messages, calls, social media activity, web browsing history, locations and whatever that is going on your phone remotely. If allowing them access to your phone lets you gain their trust, then why not?

So, where do the problems start?
  • Spying on someone without their knowledge is an invasion of their privacy.
  • Couples are individuals first and couples second. A need of privacy is essential to keep a sense of self which is necessary for both the individual and relationship.
  • As stated above, if it partners are checking each other's phones with a mutual decision, that’s a whole separate thing. But spying on your partner’s phone, secretly, implies you do not trust them. Trust should be an integral ingredient of your relationship.
  • Snooping on partner’s text messages and chats lead to having wrong assumptions and misunderstandings. Without context, the texts conversations leave a lot of room for misconceptions. It also leads to harmful accusations that wreaks havoc with the relationship.
  • People get addictive to spying behavior. Even if you started it out just to be honest with each other, spying often leads to obsessive behavior. People begin to look for mistakes as they just cannot stop. If you misread or misjudge something, it gives birth to doubt and makes you want to check more. It is not healthy behavior at all!

My Take:

You can clearly see that there are two different ways to go about it. So, it is crucial that the couple reaches an agreement regarding what they are looking for in a relationship.

It is wise that you be an adult and deal with whatever concerns you in a mature way. Look at yourself, your partner, and then, your relationship. Do all of this without checking and invading the privacy of your partner. Openly address the issues.If you do find something that makes you worry about the relationship and would affect your intimacy.

Take a closer look at your relationship. If you have the urge to snoop on them, take it as a warning sign that your relationship needs attention. People normally spy when something seems off about the relationship or if there is no connection anymore. The greatest risk of affair arises when there is no romance in the relationship. Another man or woman steps in. Act now before it is too late so that you and your partner don’t have to choose between cheating and a loveless relationship.

No matter what your emotional or relationship needs are, being connected via a cell phone is part of being in a committed relationship. Be honest and willing to give a full account of your day. Transparency is essential; do not let unnecessary secrecy come between you and your chances of
long-term bonding.

1 comment

  1. Whatever your take on this issue, the best is to keep a balance in the relationship. Better not be an over possessive person in someone’s life that you take up their personal space. But you should not liberate them completely that they keep doing anything without you knowing. Balance is the key!