Writing About My Life Was Hard — But I’m Doing It Anyway

Writing about my own life is not as easy as it sounds.

It gives me a hard time. Every time I try to write, I feel no spark at all. I sit in front of my computer with a heavy heart and a blank screen. My thoughts are there, but I can’t get them out.

I haven’t posted anything in over three months. I felt like giving up, but deep down, I didn’t want to. Aside from being my bread and butter, I still want to write. Writing is like letting go of the heavy feelings I’ve been carrying. Writing helps me breathe a little easier. Although I did write tidbits in my diary or journal - whatever you call it. Still, it is different from writing on this blog.

To be honest, I tried using ChatGPT to help. But it didn’t sound like me. It felt like reading something a robot wrote — not someone who’s been through the real stuff. AI doesn’t feel pain, sadness, or confusion like we do. So I had to find my own way back. I did use an app to correct my grammar and punctuation.

Usually, I wake up at 9:00 in the morning. When I am still sleepy, and it looks like the world is spinning around, I would go back to sleep. I woke up again when I felt good. It's my sugar. Before, they diagnosed me with high sugar, 225 mg/DL, if I remember it right.

Most mornings, I sit on my bed for about 10 minutes before I do anything else. I try to pray — like talking to God, like He’s right there beside me. Don't get me wrong. I thank Him for a new day and ask for help to get through it.

Then, I take a deep breath. Inhale and exhale the negative fumes of energy. Breathing the air with calmness, which removes negative thoughts. I stretch my arms and legs and move my feet around for a few minutes. Fair enough to wake my body and mind up.

No, I don’t have a laptop to bring to a quiet café. But if you have, it is much better because you can bring it to a serene place or wherever you want to go. My writing space is either my bed or the desk with my computer. Not fancy, but it’s what I’ve got.

I open a blank Notepad on the computer. As of this time, I don’t follow any blogging outlines or SEO tricks. I started typing what’s in my heart and whatever comes to mind, letting it out. No pressure. Let the words flow and tap the keys while listening to its click-clack rhythm.

When I couldn’t write, it wasn’t because I was lazy. It was because I was feeling too many emotions. The sadness and stress I went through still affect me. Even if that part of my life is over, it still lives in my mind and heart.

Losing a spark in writing is what they call a writer’s block. It’s not about the tiredness or unmotivated. It’s about carrying a lot of emotional issues that hinder me from writing. And that’s okay. What matters is I didn’t let it stop me forever. I took a small step. Then another. Now I’m writing again — even if it’s not perfect.

If you’re struggling to write, for a blog, journal, or whatever it is to get something off your chest —you're not broken. You are only trying to process it. Create your ritual. Breathe. Stretch. Open that blank page and do write on what’s real.