Tattooing a part of my body is not my thing. Although, my cousins and little brother have it, I do not have it. And then something happened in my life that had changed my mind. At that time, my heart is full of pain that I do not know what to do with it.
It so happened that a neighbor asked a Tattoo artist for home service. That's when I decide to have a tattoo. I choose a little broken heart on my right hand. It was like putting all the pain I felt in it.
The Story
Every morning, my partner would stare at me and say, "I love you" , before he goes out to work. So, I smiled and say nothing in return. I did not say anything because I want to say it with my heart, though. It really baffles me at that time. Well, we do exchange I-love-you's but not frequently.
I found out that my partner had a flirty conversation with his female co-worker. How could a woman ask him about his feelings toward her? When she is married with two children. After reading it, my hands were trembling. My heart was aching. I feel the soreness in my heart. I tried to take a screenshot of the conversation even if my hand trembled. But he deleted it before I had a chance to do it all. I read all their conversation.
Every morning, my partner would stare at me and say, "I love you" , before he goes out to work. So, I smiled and say nothing in return. I did not say anything because I want to say it with my heart, though. It really baffles me at that time. Well, we do exchange I-love-you's but not frequently.
I found out that my partner had a flirty conversation with his female co-worker. How could a woman ask him about his feelings toward her? When she is married with two children. After reading it, my hands were trembling. My heart was aching. I feel the soreness in my heart. I tried to take a screenshot of the conversation even if my hand trembled. But he deleted it before I had a chance to do it all. I read all their conversation.
It pained me. I tried to screen shot their conversation but my hands were shaking. I tried to talk to him and lay the cards but he denied it and lied. It makes me flare-up that I lose my cool - broke a chair and punched a wall. My son sees it. He cried and that made me stop on my tracks.
In the month of March, the government announced the start of ECQ or Enhanced Community Quarantine. It was in the afternoon that he called me up. He informed me that the manager/admin does not want him to go home. But, he insist to call and inform me. After that call, there goes another issue, but this time the company steps in. They both lose their jobs. The company prohibits having affairs in the same company. That's conflict of interest!
The Reason
I can feel the pain in my heart because it torments me and my whole being. I always asked myself, why did this happen to us? Why do we have to suffer the consequences that they both did? With that said, it makes me break down. I really don't know what to do with the pain.
Until, I saw the artist and asked him to ink me a broken heart on my right hand. I want to put the pain, all the aches in the tattoo. Then sealed it.
Whenever he goes out to work, anxiety is looming around. It enormously affects me psychologically and emotionally.
Whenever he goes out to work, anxiety is looming around. It enormously affects me psychologically and emotionally.
Based on the quote that I read from the Typewriter's Voice, it says, "You should learn how to comfort your own self because no one will do it for you." That is how I comfort myself by having a small tattoo.
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