My mother's cause of death is cervical cancer. I would like to share
it to you, what goes in and out of my mothers battle with cancer. I
think, it is time for me to unload the pack of pain in my shoulders when
she died. My mother had undergone a lot of operations.
Her first operation started when she gave birth with my brother. It was caesarian.
This
happened during my high school days, though. I can not remember exactly
the year when this happened. I used to tag along when mother went to
see a respected surgeon in Iligan City. He told us that mother should
undergo an operation because a cyst is on top on her ovary. The doctor
adds that it's good the cyst is on the top than inside the ovary. And
so, mother took the operation. When the operation started, the doctor
found out, aside from a cyst on top of her ovary, there's another one
inside her ovary. So, he remove the ovary and took it out of her body.
At the end of the operation, mother has only one ovary left. I cried
when mother was in the hospital room. She was moaning and I pity her. I
still remember what the doctor told me when he saw me crying. Don't
worry, your mom have 20 years to live!
Mother is a hard-working woman. Even if she's prohibited from carrying heavy tasks, still she's had done it with ease.
Next,
he had a surgical operation with a faith healer. I have no idea what
happened because mother did not tell us. So, we all have zero knowledge
on this part. We only knew it after the said operation. I asked how did
it go? She told me that the faith healer used his finger, draws a line
(that looks like slicing her skin to open without pain). Then used his
hands to remove something out from her body. That I can not imagine but
honestly, she regret it.
In 2007, I got a phone call from my mother. She's living in Butuan
City while I'm staying and working in Manila. She informed me of the
abnormal uterine bleeding. A doctor advised her for
a dilatation and curettage. It is known as "raspa",
a surgical procedure performed to get tissue samples; to stop prolonged
bleeding or to remove small tumors. The result of the tissue scrapping
is "moderately to poorly differentiated squamous cell carcinoma".
(Happened on November 2007)
Squamous cell carcinoma is
a distinct form of cancer. The doctor after knowing the result suggest
another surgical procedure for mama. He suggested after one month of the
previous curettage. In this surgical operation, he removed the ovary
and fallopian tube. This means that mama has no ovary and no fallopian
tube left in her reproductive system. The diagnostic results: Uterus has
cystic endometrial atrophy, large cell non-keratinizing squamous cell carcinoma (again!). Ovary is fibrotic while the fallopian tube is chronic salpingitis, though. There was a remark that the surgical stage cannot be definitely assessed since the exocervix
and vaginal cuff are NOT included.) Cervix was left in her womb, that
is what I understand amid the medical terms used. I based all these from
the medical report I have and filed. She's in stage three cervical
cancer. This indicates that the cancer cells spread to the lower part of
her vagina and pelvic.
I
resigned from work and went home, middle of the year 2008, to take care
of mom. When I saw her, she's thin. Her weigh decreases because she eat
less, though. She walk slowly and complain the pain in her pelvic.
Whenever she goes to the bathroom, she wails because of pain. She can
not poo and pee immediately without enduring the pain. There's a bad
smell after that. It's not the poo, it comes from her wetness - white
fluid. Almoranas or hemorrhoid adds the pain she suffered from popo and pee. At first, mother used a pantiliner to change every time she feels the wetness. The wetness is
a white fluid coming from her vagina. Then, she used napkin and lastly
an adult diaper. At this time, mother was bedridden, though, she can
still talk.
A neighbor suggests to bring my mother to the hospital. She doesn't looked good and pale. She cannot talked and her tongue is drawn
inwards. We bring mother to the hospital. She recognized us in the
emergency room and kept on asking the whereabouts of our little helper.
But, when the medical staff brought her to the hospital room after an
injection, she can not recognized us. A doctor told us to prepare
ourselves anytime. It's stage 4 wherein the cancer cells spread out to
the other organs inside her body. She wants us to bring mother home
because she can not do anything at this stage. But mother wants to stay
in the hospital instead of home. If only, I am financially capable, I'd
obliged in her wish and wishes. So, we bring mother home and let her stay in my brother's room. It is wide and spacious with an aircon. At this time, mother doesn't like to eat. The doctor insert the ngt - a nasogastric tube used
for feeding and administering drugs. A nurse who is our neighbour,
once in a while, visit my mom to check on her bp. I think mom had 8x
inserts of ngt because
she will removed it while I am sleeping. Yes, I slept with mom and I can
not stand it when the assigned nurse inserted the ngt
into his throat. She cried in pain. It's the only instrument/way to
feed my mom with milk. I forgot the name of the milk but it's certainly
for an adult. We changed her diaper every time she pee and poo. I
observed that the fluid is not white, it's somewhat brown-red in color.
The foul smell is gone.
My
brother bought a television and placed it in the room. Mother loves to
watch tv especially the issues of different local celebrities. I tell
you, she's updated about it. Then one night, she started to shake and
shiver. My brother thought that it was the aircon,
so, he turned it off and went home to his wife. I was left alone in
mother's room. I did not scream but watched and hugged my mom shivering
from head to toe. I think that the cancer cells spread into his head. Her
right hand is on top of my left leg. She calls my name and asked for my
brother. She told me to let Jun oversee everything. I didn't know that
she's dying.
Then morning came, it was sunday, mother died. When mother died, I regret it. I never knew that she's gone because I was watching tv until I saw her toe nails. It was gray.
oh my, sad story. your mom is in a peaceful and pain-free place right now
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