Another gray spot of my life has resurfaced, again. I put it behind but I can not help letting it grow, again. The memory of frozen dreams is crushing my emotions. These are my broken dreams and wishes. I'm dying to buy a crib for my son and invest in a small online business of reloading. But, it went to a puff when I've been waiting for a certain moolah for a few months now. It crushes my heart and soul.

Is this what, another failure of broken dreams? Broken dream makes my heart ache, silently.  It makes my heart cry and agonized my soul. Guess, I have to give it up. Slowly, it heals but will leave a scar and lessons to uphold. Time can tell when this heartache vanish. Perhaps, when the sun starts to shine again, in time.

I am really, really surprised, Mommy Peh! Thank you very much! 

 I have fun eating these chocolates! I devoured it, though!

My husband asked me to give him one of the M & M's!

It's a SWEET SURPRISE from Make or Break!

Warning! I used words that are only for adults and terms that are unpleasant to some people! Stop and don't read any further.

Two days ago, I woke up in the morning feeling greasy! "What's wrong from my behind?", I asked myself. I am overweight and sometimes, we have oil secretions from behind. So, I think it is normal! I stood up from my bed and went out to the restroom to pee. I'm surprised on what I saw! Oil secretions flow and bubble in the water of a toilet bowl. It has an unpleasant smell. After seeing it, my mind race to a thousand negative possibilities that leads to fear. I thought that it's a symptom of a breast cancer because my breast is painful that time. Also, I thought that it's cervical cancer because I witness my mom's secretion when she had it, but it's not orange. I want to ask a doctor about it but then I feel ashamed and what if? What if he will tell the medical staff etcetera... 

So, I tried to calm myself and remember the internet. I sat down in one of the computers and searched for the strange oil that secretes from behind. I found the answer! It is caused by a fish named as Escolar. 

 

I remember now, our dinner was an Escolar fish known as Gindara in Tagalog. I told my husband about it and he's surprised that I ate it. When he tried to eat it, he vomited. Whenever my mother cooked this fish, she would fry it. Unlike the other day, it was stewed with vinegar, salt, and spices.

Be careful when you eat this fish!

References & Credits:

FDA: Photos of Commercial Product - Escolar

Stuart Exchange: Isda - Pinoy Fish Names

Medellitin: Escolar, The Worlds Most Dangerous Fish

Hard Labor Is Seriously Ruining My Manicure