Tales of My Miscarriage I

Once again, I never knew I'm pregnant. I feel like in a deep slumber awaken by a good and bad news. No, I am not defending myself because it's the truth.

Before I knew I'm pregnant, I keep on asking my husband for soft-drinks and other snacks. Although, he yield to my whim but whenever I asked for a Coke, he'll bring and give me a Sprite soda, instead. As a pregnant woman, that's very annoying and fun for him! I'm sickly. I have runny nose that leads to sinusitis which I pop in one tab of Neozep. I have a watery loose bowel movement. Then, I don't know why I stare at a glass of wine that makes me thirsty and lick my lips. Until words come out, I asked a guy friend to give me a sip. 

It is odd that I heard a sound of a so-called night bird ("wakwak" in Cebuano) when I get into the comfort room outside the internet shop. In some provinces, we thought of it as a witch turned to a night bird lurking around especially for pregnant women. According to tales, a baby in a mother's womb smells fragrant and sweet.

Usually, my son play around my tummy. He jumps and play like a horse while sitting on it. The day he played around, I feel a hard thing on my womb, trying to turn around. Immediately, I stop my son from playing in my tummy and tried to get up. That movement in my womb had awaken me from a deep slumber. It made me think of my menstruation and its date. Usually, my menstruation starts first week or end of the month. The only month I remember it's visit is September. I'm not sure if I have it in October because in November, I had none.  I become suspicious and asked for my husband to buy a home pregnancy kit.

When my husband bought the home pregnancy kit. Immediately, I went to the comfort room to get a small amount of my urine. Then, I open the Home Pregnancy Kit which consists of a Pipette, 1 test device and a desiccant. Then, I suctioned a small amount of urine and drop some of it in the sample well of the test device.  The test window will absorb the urine and shows if it's positive or negative. I stared while it absorbs the urine sample. It shows only one line which I thought it's negative but I was wrong. Looks like, it gives a space for another line.... I AM PREGNANT!

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Findings of My Son's Sickness

The first findings is dengue. The nurse informed us after giving him a tourniquet. He told the doctor that tourniquet result is dengue. My thoughts were asking how my son got dengue and fever. I'm thinking of the previous days before my son got dengue. Sure, some people in the internet shop come and go. But, he was not staying in the shop that day. My son was walking around the hospital grounds. He was laughing and chasing around his "Ninong". A woman from neighbourhood told me that the hospital has big trees, grasses and local chickens running around. So, it's a definite haven for mosquitoes and chicken manure. I guess or maybe it's one of the reasons. 

Another findings is my son has amoebiasis. His poop is watery and yellow to golden brown with little particles. It has a foul smell different from normal. I know the cause of this. He's very curious now and want to touch any thing he like even if it's dirty. He is fond of sucking his two fingers from his right hand. So, probably he touch a thing then sucked his fingers. I know it's negligence but I can't watch him all the time for some reason. The best thing for me to do when he gets well is putting a bitter something in his fingers. It's not a mean thing to do. It's a way to stop him from sucking his two fingers.

The hospital has shifting schedules for their resident doctors. But, when another doctor came into the hospital. The hospital has schedules for their resident doctors. He informed us that it's not dengue it's German measles. Automatically, medicines were changed. 

What do we call/shall do when the doctor give us wrong information? Other mommies would give a different reaction. I just accept it and focus more on my son. My son is more important than the doctor.

Hospital? Not again!

Previously, I post about our ordeal with my son and my sickness. Last month, we're in the hospital because he has fever and primary complex. I got sick from fever and cough that made me feel like in an orthopaedic bed. I'm not finished writing about it, yet. 

And here we are again, facing another one. We're here in the hospital with another cause of my son's fever. It's only a month difference. I think children are like this. I am worried about his situation and I can't help it. He's having a fever for three days and I thought the cause is the climate change. But, I was wrong! On the third day, rashes were all over his body plus a high fever. So, we rushed him in the hospital at 4am.

Good thing, my sister-in-law and mother-in-law arrived. At least a little burden were taken off my shoulders, though. I know they'll stay for a day because of work. When they saw my son's situation, I saw them crying. I think they were overwhelmed by his situation and pity him.

I hope and pray that my son will get well soonest!

Son’s Birthday Visitor

Again, this is a very late post and it happened last March 2012. It took me a long time to publish this post, perhaps it’s too personal to tell. But, I want to take the emptiness out from what had happened before and share it. I am happy that he came.

My son’s visitor is my one and only youngest brother Jun. Unknown to anyone, except my close relatives, that my brother and I haven’t speak for a long time. He’s working as a seaman abroad. Of course, he believe in anything that someone close to him says. We fought against finances, my mother who’s fighting for her dear life against cervical cancer, my father and chiasm. Every thing I said he’ll throw it back on me. He will not listen to me. It seems I’m carrying the whole world on my shoulders. I cried bucket of tears and decided to leave his home. And, when I got pregnant, I asked for his help but he was very angry. He almost flare up. I’m thankful because my cousins were there to stop him. He will arrived in the Philippines and left the country with no communication. Until, a neighbor from Iligan City tried to talked and put some sense into our minds. Then, my brother starts to comment whenever he sees my comments of a cousin’s photos. That’s where we start our communication again.

He came with his girlfriend and brought a Red Ribbon cake for my son, though. My son was afraid because he haven’t met his Uncle and this is their firsts. The way I look at it, my brother was happy carrying my son and told me that he missed his two children from his ex-wife. Also, he shared a conversation with my husband.

Here’s a photo of my brother and son.
 brother and son

And of course, the siblings!
 the siblings
We used to fight when we were a child. As an adult, we lived in separate ways, though. I understand that our fights are usually for the betterment of a person we loved most.

A Mother's Anxieties

This is a late post! I made a promise to get back into blogging and update my blogs but there are situation that I can't handle both sides of the coin. 

My son's fever is up again and he's coughing. For some, it looks like an ordinary cough but when his fever reached more than 40degrees. Instantly, I drop anything I do online. There is no one important to me more than my son.

I brought him into the hospital at 2am. The attending nurse thought we are there for check up. Honestly, I feel dismayed because I am not illiterate bringing my son at dawn time. I want to flare up but keep my cool because I'm carrying my son. Then, she gave my son the usual TPR (Temperature, Pulse and Respiration rate). When they found out his fever is high, they have given him an ice bath. An ice bath is given to a child who's fever reaches 40°C to help lower down the fever.

When the resident doctor arrived, he just checked my son and read his previous health records. Then, he wrote medicines and give me instructions. After that, he stand up and attempt to walk out of the Emergency room. Whoa! That's it? I asked if isn't he going to recommend my son's confinement in the hospital. He replied, "Oh, you want to confine your son? Ok." Then, he turned to the 2 on-duty nurses to give my son an I-V. I was baffled because I act as if I know better than the medical staff. What's going on? Is it because they know that we can pay the hospital bills through monthly payment only? Is that the reason why there's laxity in their assistance? The truth is I feel my self-esteem is very low but I pretend to be strong.

After the I-V insertion, they showed us the hospitals' private room. I'm glad my son has a good sleep because the following days were not so good for him. He's blood count is monitored every day while his fever is every 4 hours. They keep on checking him for a possible dengue. After 3 days, they found out that it is not dengue. It's a viral infection, a regular measles and primary complex.

Knowing the results of his sickness, I feel guilty as a mother especially with the viral infection and primary complex. My son has contact from different customers everyday. We do not know the person that carries infection nor we can prevent it. The place where we live is inside an internet shop.

A Woman's Dream

Let me share this photo quotes from lifelovequotesandsayings.com . A friend shared this photo in my Facebook and I agree.

"Every woman needs a man who lets her be perfectly herself. No woman likes to be twisted and molded into another image. She wants to be loved for what she is with all her flaws and imperfections."

Every woman really needs a man who can let her be a woman. No woman wants to be manipulated by a man to change for what she is. Love her flaws and imperfections. That's true love.

My Only Treasure, My Only Love

He is my son - My Only Son

Who lifts my drowning spirit from struggling;

Who had given me hope when I feel so low;

Who turns my world upside down with his giggles;

Who showed me his strength and battles when his not okay.

He, who is my only love and my only treasure.

July Top EC Visits

Before any further adieu, I would like to thank my Entrecard visitors who kept on dropping by.

Meet and Pay
the way I see it

Without them, my blog will linger on a pedestal because I rarely post these past months and days. 

Thank you so much!

Asik-Asik Spring Falls in Alamada, North Cotabato

Asik-Asik Falls
Miss Wise: Asik-Asik Falls, North Cotabato
I saw this photo from my Facebook Newsfeeds. This photo was shared by TV Patrol for their weekend segment "Choose Philippines".

I can't stop from sharing it to every Filipino. I admire the beauty of nature and it's spring falls. I admit, I don't watch TV because most of my time is on the net. Perhaps, I'm truly amazed when I saw it.

Since, I have little knowledge of the said spring falls. I searched the web and found out:
  • The place is Asik-asik falls located at Sitio Dulao, Upper Dado, Alamada, North Cotabato.
  • There is no river on top, instead the water spring comes from the rock.
  •  The falls were unvisited because of the "Balete" tree in which they said as haunted until it fall down.
I just hope and pray that it will stay as is, now, that it become as one of the main tourist attraction in North Cotabato. No to cut trees and plants on top.

Pinoy Adventures: Asik-Asik Falls in Alamada North Cotabato
Miss Wise: Asik-Asik Falls, North Cotabato
Cotabato City: Asik-Asik Falls, Alamada-North Cotabato

My Heart and Mind on Father's Day!

Yesterday, I am trying to write a post for Father's day. It's a cheerful greetings, but, after two to three sentences, I hit the delete button. I can not pretend because deep in my heart, I am sad. Just thinking about my father bothers me. I am faraway from him. My father is in Iligan City but I had no chance to visit him, yet. I can not afford the expenses. I don't even have a chance to communicate with my father. He did not see his grandson since birth. My father and I have differences but time has changed it. He is still my father, no matter what. He's getting older. I feel, I missed him, terribly.

Instead of writing, I prayed. It is my only communication towards my own father through God. I believe that through Him, I can convey what's inside my heart and mind. 
Instead of writing, I stand up and whispered to my son's father a happy father's day! He just smiled and squeezed my hand while carrying our son. :x

Eating Problems

During my teenager days, some people would say, "Oh, Lis, you're so big for your age!". I'm in high school, then, but I look like a college student. The comment made me think otherwise. I always look at the mirror and wonder why they said I am big, when I am not. That kind of thinking made me feel sad.
When I grow up and married, that's the time my chromosomes changed. I find myself, getting bigger and bigger. Whenever I have personal problems, I tend to eat a lot. Deep thinking of a certain problem drives me to eat more and more. I can eat 2 flat servers in one sitting. It's not an exaggeration. Even I, am surprised of the amount of food I eat, afterwards. "Where did it go?", I asked myself a nonsense question. "How did it happened? Why did I do that?", I cried sadly. But, my mind shouts, how will I stop it! 

I asked some relatives and they have different advise: One said, "It's in our genes, we have bigger bones. Even, if we try all slimming products available, still we look like this". Another one told me, "To exercise. Exercise may not help you slim to trim but it'll surely help your heart". 

Being fat and big has affected me, emotionally and psychologically. I feel depressed and intimidated by the people around me. I feel out of place and insecure. It's like a big unseen wall was placed in the center to block the view. Sometimes, I smile talking to another person but most of the time, I show a sad face and just nod. 

When I came to Manila, my views and delusions has changed. I saw a lot of bigger and chubby persons who are oozing with confidence. They are chatting happily and well-accepted. I even saw a young couple that made me smile. The guy is thin and his girl is chubby. Actually, it surprised me, I never thought that a guy would accept a girl like that. Both are very happy taking pictures of each other. My lady friend told me that he accepts his girl. A man does not choose body shapes if he falls in love. :)

Still, I'm chubby and I accepted the fact that I can not change it. My outlook has changed, too.  :) I feel intimidated and shy but it's another story. Time can tell when I'll be strong enough to overcome it.

Entrecard Visitors for May

 Top Entrecard Visitors 
for May are: 

Meet and Pay
Kimmy Sharing Light
C'est La Vie

Thank you so much for your time. I have stop blogging for a while.

Now, I wish I can hop and return your visits, everyday.

This will be kept but the inactive links are removed.

Blessing in Disguise

Photo is not mine
It's a blessing in disguise. I feel so happy that I have a chance to sit here on the computer's server for a long time. Why? One of the Philippines MMORPG or "Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game" is having a long server maintenance. It is an online game wherein my husband and I play together. Server is his place. I can only sit here for 2 - 3 hours before an online war starts.

Now, what? It's more than nine (9) hours. I'm so excited, tickling the keys of this soft keyboard. It has given me a (long) time with much gusto, updating my blog, Facebook, change some links, editing photos of my little one and a little blog hopping! :) 

Thank you so much!

First Night Swimming of Baby Chrizs

The night swimming happened, April this year and I am still thinking about it. The truth is I'm having second thoughts in joining the said outing organized by the hospital celebrants. Why? He's still a baby and I'm wondering if he can survived the coolness of the night.

We arrived at 5:30pm in 4k Garden Resort in Catmon, Sta. Maria, Bulacan. There were a lot of people around for an overnight swimming. Every one of the group were so excited especially the children. I am advised to cover Baby Chrizs body with oil before swimming. At least, he will not catch cold that easy.

When we went for swimming, I'm so thankful that the water in Kiddie's swimming pool is warm. I place Baby Chrizs life bouy around his belly. Then, dip half of his body into the swimming pool.

I thought, Baby Chrizs will cry for fear since it is his first time. But, he did not! He was so excited, kicking his legs and splashing his arms in the water. He said, "koo, koo" which means cool. He swam

Oh well, I'm glad I joined them even if I feel apprehensive, at first. My son enjoyed it very much. Now, I am looking forward for the next outing. :D

Google Plus is up and running

Thank God, I'm done with my G+. It's up and running. You can check the G+ icon next to Facebook or else, click the icon below and follow me :)

If you do, please leave your comments and I'll follow you back. Thank you!

I would like to thank my hubby, Chris for giving me a chance to use the "Server" for a long time. Thank you so much! 

Need More Time with G+

G+ or Google Plus is a part of a social network wherein you can directly share your posts from Blogspot and add circles of friends, too. Now, if you have a blogspot, I think, you will automatically have a G+. Without reading and thought, I click and add circle of friends from a blogspot website that I deleted and transferred to a Wordpress.

It gives me a headache. I want to change and shorten the url of my G+ and streams of post from Blogspot. I researched and read tips from the internet. But, it seems there is always an error, even if I read the guide on how-to. Nay! Guess, I need more time to read and understand it.

Motivational Thoughts of the Day

I've been feeling down these past months. There are things that I'd like to do, but I can't because of a financial drain. It's a negative feeling of despair and exasperation... I browse the internet for motivational quotes and here's what I found from OSU Mathematics resources

A life spent making mistakes is not only more
honorable but more useful than a life
spent doing nothing.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Whatever you do may seem insignificant,
but it is most important that you do it.
-- M. Gandhi

Mommy Rants

Yes! It's been a long time. For more than two months, I haven't write anything on my blogs and didn't dare to even view it until now. There are a lot of things I missed online, like contests, blog walking and fixing links on a Wordpress blog as well as the incoming domain account that I have to pay. Some of the paid-to-click sites in which I am a member went back to zero because of inactivity.

The reason is my baby's sickness. I post about his on and off fever that resulted to amoebiasis and a ruled-out bronchitis. For two months, I accept the fact that my baby is sickly. He just recovered from another bout of fever and "tigdas hangin" (german measles) aside from a delayed teething process. He was not hospitalized and no strong injectable antibiotics for him.. Every time the hospital staff do that to my son, I feel like stopping them. I only give him vitamin c (Ceelin) 2x daily and keep an eye on his back for wetness.So, I thought being a mother really has a big role and responsibilities.

How I wish I can handle both worlds (online gigs and my son). Mommy has to find time to earn online to save for your future, though. I choose to stop for more than two months and see for myself.

Daddy and a Baby.... Rushed Baby in The Hospital

Yesterday, both my husband and I had a sleepless nights because of baby's fever is high again. I am sad and worried. At 4:30pm, we gave him medicine for his fever and runny nose. Then, my husband told me to feed him, earlier. So, we can get and catch some sleep. He stand up and mixed cereal for baby and I feed the baby. Husband took the baby in his arms and I gave another antibiotic medicine. Supposedly, I'll give him 7.5ml dose of the antibiotic. But, after giving him the first dose (2.5ml), he vomit. My husbands' and my shirt were both wet from water and cereal. I stop giving him another dose for a breather. So, baby will rest and sleep.

At 12 noon, after feeding the baby for his lunch, husband carry the baby to sleep. I admit, I'm sleepy too but I gave them the chance to sleep together. Especially, husband is so tired from work and responsibilities with the baby. While, I watch the internet shop and have a chance to write posts for this blog. After an hour, baby started to cry again. He does not want to stay in bed but in his father's arm to sleep. Oh my, baby is now heavy. The father, patiently carry him in his arms and sleep on a beach chair. Oh, I forgot to take their pictures. I am grateful with my husband and at the same time, pity him. I know he's very tired. Still, he carry our baby and give me a chance to write a post while watching the shop.

At 5:30pm, baby's fever is 38. I feed him and then gave the antibiotic. He cried and slap the dropper many times. Yet, I forced him to take the medicine. A trustee from the hospital took baby in her arms to soothe him. But, before I can give the last drop of the antibiotic, he vomit again. Instantly, the trustee told me to bring him to the hospital. Immediately, my baby was admitted and given an injectable antibiotics. At 9:30pm, he's fever is 38.8, so, they gave him a paracetamol (injection) medicine through the iv.

As of this time, both my husband and baby were sleeping soundly. Before leaving, I touch baby's forehead and luckily, the fever subside.

Top EC Droppers for December 2011

Top EC Droppers for December 2011

Funky Town Disco Music 
Confessions of a Wannabe Writer 
Be a Lifesaver Of Goodness 
Digital Rebel350 

I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart! I am so grateful of your visit, here on my blog. I know, I owe you. Lately, I stop leaving traces and dropping loves on different websites. Oh, how I wish, I can but family comes first. My baby is sick for almost 2 weeks. As of this writing, he is in the hospital with my husband as the carer.

Thank you, thank yo so much! I am so grateful on you!

A Late New Year Post Celebration

It's a late New Year post celebration!

Afternoon, on the  31st of December 2011, my baby, again, has a fever. We thought we'll be welcoming the New Year with good health. He's fine in the morning! He walked in his cart, around the hospital grounds with his godfather. He slept for 2 hours and wake up crying. When I touch him, he's hot again. I gave him paracetamol drops and wipe him with a wet cloth. Hoping, it will drop the temperature.

Even so, my husband bought cooked foods for the midnight siesta. He bought (1) one jumbo Fried Chicken, (1) one Liempo, 2 small oblong-shaped pan of Leche Flan and (1) one 1.5 liter of Coke. It's a small celebration in welcoming the New Year! We are only three including my baby. The two hospital trustees went home to celebrate.

At 10pm, the start of fire works began. We can hear different sounds of firecrackers like "pla-pla", "picolo" and "kwitis" that lits the sky.  We wrapped Baby Chrizs and went out to see the fireworks display. But then, the smoke from the firecrackers has stop us to move places for a better view. So, we went back, inside the shop, and close the door. Then, maximize the sound from the speaker and press the toys of my son to make a lot of noise. While baby, went around the shop shouting and clapping his hands in his walker! Yay! Happy New Year everyone! :)