Breastfeeding Guilt

Being a first time mom, I know, this is not a reason for ignorance. A lot of people had advised me to do this and do that. After giving birth, my breast is full of milk that left me agonizing with pain. Although, I am in pain, they told me to let the baby suck it. But when my baby sucked it, he stopped, cried and looked for the bottle. He got only a drop of milk from my breasts.

Then some people would say, you have big melons, why can't you give milk? It irritates me; I wish I know. In my heart, I cried; in my mind, I don't know what to do anymore. A mother whom I have a chance to talked have told me that:
  • Breastfeeding made her relax unlike formula-feeding, you have to wake up every 2 - 3 hours to prepare baby's milk in a bottle.
  • The baby urinate less, meaning less diaper changing. Whereas, babies who are formula-based frequently urinates.
  • The breast milk-based baby is closer to his mother.
  • Breastfeeding is the cheapest milk in the whole world.
The guilt of not breastfeeding my baby has turned to fear. I want to get close to my baby. He's my first baby in my 38 years of life. Also, it's financial matter, I am afraid, time will come, we can not afford to buy his milk and diaper. He's growing and his needs grows with him, everyday. My husband is the only one working with meager salary.

I breathe guiltiness, fear and pain in my heart. I am sad. How I wish someday I will earn for my baby's needs. Sana, napa-breastfeed ko siya.

1 comment

  1. Sis, until now may milk ka pa din? o wala na? pwede kasi i-pump mo na lang yung milk sa bottle kung ayaw nya sa breast mo mag drink. Ginawa ko to when I go back to work, kasi sobrang sakit pag di ko ma express at para di masayang nilalagay ko sa bote then store sa Ref sa office. Yun ang iniinom nya pag pumasok ako ulit kinabukasan.